Was Jesus a Socialist?

I’m getting really tired of hearing people claim that Jesus was a socialist.  One writer, Ned Lawrence, lists the following ten reasons why Jesus had to be one:

 1. Jesus owned nothing.

2. Jesus argued for the dissolution of the family and the establishment of communes.

3. Jesus loved all people regardless of ethnicity or class.

4. Jesus revolted against the imperial government, established religion and finance capitalism (usury).

5. Jesus taught that we should act as one body, one blood.

6. Jesus taught that his kingdom (i.e. nation state) is in the heart and not below the feet.

7. Jesus taught that we should fight for Justice and 'turn the other cheek' to petty morality.

8. Jesus was a laborer and a teacher.

9. Jesus practiced healing and forgiveness.

10. Jesus taught that you can't be an imperialist and a disciple at the same time. 

Aside from the fact that some of the “reasons” are demonstrably false (Jesus does not argue for the dissolution of families and the establishment of communes), much of what the author says has nothing to do with socialism vs. free enterprise.  Is he saying that if one believes in free enterprise, we do not want to see the sick healed? That one can’t believe in free enterprise and still be a laborer or teacher? Or despise big government and see the evils of what he calls “finance capitalism”? 

It seems to me the author confuses crony capitalism with free markets.  As another writer illustrates, nothing like this is found in the gospels:  "...and Jesus Christ forcibly took the money from all of the people gathered and gave it to the Pharisees to distribute as they felt. Thereafter the people rejoiced in the good deeds done by Jesus as they lived on socialized programs run by benevolent governments.” “Benevolent governments”, I might add, that take tax money from your local auto repair shop and which is then given to General Electric to invest in a Chinese jetliner factory.  Or “benevolent governments” where Harry sits down with Nancy to decide what Sally is going to give to Sam.  But I digress.

Let’s take one parable of Jesus that is sometimes cited as proof that Jesus was a socialist.  It is found in Matthew 20:1-16.  Generally, the parable goes like this:  A man owns a vineyard, and goes to the marketplace looking for day laborers.  He hires some at six in the morning to work the full 12-hour shift.  At nine, he hires more men, hires more at noon, and even more at three in the afternoon.  Finally, at 5 PM he hires more men to work.  At the end of the work day, he calls all the laborers together and pays them.  Lo and behold, he pays them all the same, even those who worked only one hour!  Proof positive Jesus was a Socialist!

But people often forget that, in this very parable, Jesus puts these words in the landowner’s mouth: “Is it not lawful for me to do what I wish with my own things?” (verse 15).  If I wish to be generous with “my own things”, you have no cause to argue on the basis of fairness. 

Jesus uses this very same principle in two other parables (the Parable of the Pounds in Luke 19 and the Parable of the Talents in Matthew 25), but with different outcomes.  In these two parables, he takes the pound (or talent, as in Matthew’s case) from the person who has one and gives it to (or more accurately, puts it under the stewardship of) the one who already has ten.  “But, Lord, he already has ten!” (Luke 19:25)  Ah, but the pound was the nobleman’s, so he could do with it whatever he wished! 

Admittedly, these parables are all designed to teach deeper spiritual lessons, but if Jesus analogizes himself as a property owner lawfully deciding what to do with his own things, he does not come across as a very good socialist to me.