There is a screaming need today for a new translation of the Bible, one set in the popular American vernacular. Today we have paraphrases, translations, and revisions almost too numerous to count, but none of them seem to catch enough relevance to retain the attention of the modern reader.
I believe so strongly in this that I have decided to take on the project of a new translation. In fact, I already have some verses ready for print, and I want to provide the readers of this column with a few examples.
“Never miss a good opportunity to shut up.” (James 1:19)
“I’m lower than a snake’s belly in a wheel rut.” (Matthew 26:38)
“But Dad! Everybody else is doing it!” (I Samuel 8:5)
“You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig.” (Ezekiel 13:11)
“ROTFLOL!!!” (Genesis 17:17)
“If it looks like a duck, waddles like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it still might not be a duck.” (Matthew 7:15)
"It's time for a break." (Genesis 2:2-3)
"Stupid is as stupid does." (Matthew 7:20)
"Get 'er done!" (Mark 16:15)
"A pox on both your houses." (Matthew 16:6)
“It wasn't all hakuna matata.” (Ecclesiastes 7:10)
"You're either all in or all out." (Revelation 3:15)
"Who in the hell are YOU?" (Matthew 5:23)
“Don't mess with the chicken while it's still laying eggs.” (Deuteronomy 22:6)
So what do you think of my idea? And oh yeah – I’m not really making a new translation. It’s all a joke. But I made you look. (Acts 17:11)
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Harley-Davidson and the Church
In the early 1980s Harley-Davidson’s Richard Teerlink was slapped with a problem. Harley was losing market share and sales, and the company was on the verge of bankruptcy. In response Teerlink organized Harley Owners’ Groups (HOGs), and he simply listened to what Harley owners were saying. He learned that people were buying Harleys not just because they wanted transportation or a classy bike. Instead, as one writer put it, “they were buying freedom, independence, and escape from stress and routine in their everyday lives.”
Teerlink listened to his customers and changed the marketing strategy accordingly. “Harley-Davidson” today is The Name in motorcycles. Said Teerlink, “Harley went up when we cared about our customers and employees. Harley went down when we stopped caring about customers and employees.”
“Marketing” might seem like a crass way to refer to evangelism, but in fact Christianity is faced with some of the same challenges and decisions that companies such as Harley-Davidson face. Who are we? How do we hold ourselves out in the marketplace of ideas? Who is our competition?
Some churches hold themselves out as the only true bearers and preservers of “The Truth”. “The Truth” in their view is defined as a set of exclusive doctrines that no other group or individuals hold in total. Those churches market themselves as an exclusive club of very special believers who know something the rest of us don’t. Evangelism in such an environment can easily become a sort of debating party or a Biblical sword fight. It can make for interesting entertainment, and can even be a profitable exercise at times, but would a church want to be perceived in the public square as masters of the art of argument? Is there more to attracting disciples than that?
Of all the alternatives available, what would motivate someone to choose Christianity in general or your church in particular? What do you have that no one else in town does? Is there something more to it than being able to make the best arguments?
Can you give people real hope? Can you give them real change for the better? Can you show them that God has a plan for them and for all of us? Can you answer if someone asks you what God’s purpose is for mankind? Can you show the real way to peace and give them an understanding of why the world lacks that peace today? If people visit your church, will they meet God there?
Are we selling a set of doctrines, or are we addressing real needs and questions?
Teerlink listened to his customers and changed the marketing strategy accordingly. “Harley-Davidson” today is The Name in motorcycles. Said Teerlink, “Harley went up when we cared about our customers and employees. Harley went down when we stopped caring about customers and employees.”
“Marketing” might seem like a crass way to refer to evangelism, but in fact Christianity is faced with some of the same challenges and decisions that companies such as Harley-Davidson face. Who are we? How do we hold ourselves out in the marketplace of ideas? Who is our competition?
Some churches hold themselves out as the only true bearers and preservers of “The Truth”. “The Truth” in their view is defined as a set of exclusive doctrines that no other group or individuals hold in total. Those churches market themselves as an exclusive club of very special believers who know something the rest of us don’t. Evangelism in such an environment can easily become a sort of debating party or a Biblical sword fight. It can make for interesting entertainment, and can even be a profitable exercise at times, but would a church want to be perceived in the public square as masters of the art of argument? Is there more to attracting disciples than that?
Of all the alternatives available, what would motivate someone to choose Christianity in general or your church in particular? What do you have that no one else in town does? Is there something more to it than being able to make the best arguments?
Can you give people real hope? Can you give them real change for the better? Can you show them that God has a plan for them and for all of us? Can you answer if someone asks you what God’s purpose is for mankind? Can you show the real way to peace and give them an understanding of why the world lacks that peace today? If people visit your church, will they meet God there?
Are we selling a set of doctrines, or are we addressing real needs and questions?
Monday, August 23, 2010
Learning Moment: Game Theory and Market Bubbles
Suppose a professor of finance offers the following opportunity to his students:
1. Those who are already “A” students will likely not participate because they don’t need the extra grade.
2. Participation will be low at first, but as the buzz increases about the easy bonus grades, participation will increase. As participation increases, so will the anxiety.
What would happen if any of the following factors (or combination of factors) were added to the experiment?
1. Once the 50% threshold is reached, those remaining in the program get an automatic grade of “F” for the class.
2. If the 50% threshold is never reached, students who participate get an automatic grade of “A” for the class.
3. Students are allowed to exit the program any time they choose and from that point forward will not be subject to any penalties or further rewards (they are “stopped out”). However, their participation would still be counted toward the 50% threshold.
4. As participation approaches 50%, the professor increases the trigger point to 60%. Or, as participation approaches 40%, the professor decides to lower the trigger point from 50% to 40%.
Do you see the parallels between this and the investment markets?
He promises to give every student in his class an increase in one letter grade for doing nothing more than submitting a written request for the increased grade. The professor will grant the request from that point forward on all papers, exams, and other class work with no questions asked. However, once 50% of the students have made that request, every student who made the written request will thenceforth have a reduction in a letter grade for the remainder of the semester. The professor will not disclose the scorecard until the 50% level is reached.How will this experiment play out?
1. Those who are already “A” students will likely not participate because they don’t need the extra grade.
2. Participation will be low at first, but as the buzz increases about the easy bonus grades, participation will increase. As participation increases, so will the anxiety.
What would happen if any of the following factors (or combination of factors) were added to the experiment?
1. Once the 50% threshold is reached, those remaining in the program get an automatic grade of “F” for the class.
2. If the 50% threshold is never reached, students who participate get an automatic grade of “A” for the class.
3. Students are allowed to exit the program any time they choose and from that point forward will not be subject to any penalties or further rewards (they are “stopped out”). However, their participation would still be counted toward the 50% threshold.
4. As participation approaches 50%, the professor increases the trigger point to 60%. Or, as participation approaches 40%, the professor decides to lower the trigger point from 50% to 40%.
Do you see the parallels between this and the investment markets?
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Don't Sell Your Birthright
“Don’t sell your birthright for a bowl of red soup.” That little allegory might be hard to understand, but it should be a part of our cultural literacy. It’s based on a story in the book of Genesis, where twin brothers became rivals and vied for supremacy. In ancient times, the older brother was entitled to the family birthright, but in this story the younger brother through savvy and deceit talked the older one in a moment of hunger to give up his birthright for one bowl of red soup.
Jacob and Esau were the two brothers’ names, and the account is in Genesis 25:29-34. It reads like this:
It is striking that someone could be shortsighted enough to give up wealth and position that is his right by inheritance because of the expediency of the moment. I have an immediate physical desire (“right now I’m tired and hungry”), and I don’t have any immediate use for some undefined future bequest (“What is this birthright to me?”), so I’ll trade my most valuable crown jewels for some immediate gratification.
Is it any wonder that the writer of Hebrews calls Esau profane (Hebrews 12:16 KJV)?
We might be tempted to think that no one would be foolish enough to sell one’s future for such a pittance, but a nation can also sell its birthright. Once the world’s largest creditor nation, the United States is now the world’s largest debtor nation. How did our nation morph from a nation of tremendous productive capacity to one that can’t seem to live within its means? How could a nation that was at one time economically self-sufficient become dependent upon nations who hate us and what we stand for?
Do you think this might have something to do with craving a bowl of red soup at the expense of greater things? Is it possible that life’s pleasures mean more to people than life’s purpose? Is it possible that the ambition of politics and finance leads to the erosion of our national treasure and will?
Is there a bowl of red soup on our national table?
Jacob and Esau were the two brothers’ names, and the account is in Genesis 25:29-34. It reads like this:
Once when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau came in from the open country, famished. He said to Jacob, "Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I'm famished!" … Jacob replied, "First sell me your birthright." "Look, I am about to die," Esau said. "What good is the birthright to me?" But Jacob said, "Swear to me first." So he swore an oath to him, selling his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and some lentil stew. He ate and drank, and then got up and left.
It is striking that someone could be shortsighted enough to give up wealth and position that is his right by inheritance because of the expediency of the moment. I have an immediate physical desire (“right now I’m tired and hungry”), and I don’t have any immediate use for some undefined future bequest (“What is this birthright to me?”), so I’ll trade my most valuable crown jewels for some immediate gratification.
Is it any wonder that the writer of Hebrews calls Esau profane (Hebrews 12:16 KJV)?
We might be tempted to think that no one would be foolish enough to sell one’s future for such a pittance, but a nation can also sell its birthright. Once the world’s largest creditor nation, the United States is now the world’s largest debtor nation. How did our nation morph from a nation of tremendous productive capacity to one that can’t seem to live within its means? How could a nation that was at one time economically self-sufficient become dependent upon nations who hate us and what we stand for?
Do you think this might have something to do with craving a bowl of red soup at the expense of greater things? Is it possible that life’s pleasures mean more to people than life’s purpose? Is it possible that the ambition of politics and finance leads to the erosion of our national treasure and will?
Is there a bowl of red soup on our national table?
Monday, August 16, 2010
The Welfare of the City
My friend’s note was full of discouragement as he related his observations on the latest manifestation of the spirit of insanity that seems to have taken over our age. He’s an acute observer of the human condition, and it distresses him to see the continuing assault on family, economy, and personal freedoms.
He’s not alone in his near-despair. Maybe we’re getting an idea of the emotion Jesus experienced when he wept over Jerusalem. “How often would I have gathered you under my wings!”
Well, here we are, and I think often of Jeremiah 29, where the Jews of the day were much like us, exiles living in a foreign land called Babylon. But rather than despairing, God instructs the exiles to build their houses, raise their families, and build their businesses. They were to be in foreign land for a long time, and it would do them no good to become discouraged and give up. God had a plan for them, to be salt and light to the dead and dark culture around them.
And he also tells them to seek the welfare (the “shalom”) of the city, because in its shalom (or “peace” or “prosperity”) you’ll have “shalom”. It’s the same with us. We must do what we can do, whatever that might be. The question for each of us – what can we do to seek the welfare of the city, all the while understanding that the ultimate shalom will only come when He returns to gather his people under his wings?
He’s not alone in his near-despair. Maybe we’re getting an idea of the emotion Jesus experienced when he wept over Jerusalem. “How often would I have gathered you under my wings!”
Well, here we are, and I think often of Jeremiah 29, where the Jews of the day were much like us, exiles living in a foreign land called Babylon. But rather than despairing, God instructs the exiles to build their houses, raise their families, and build their businesses. They were to be in foreign land for a long time, and it would do them no good to become discouraged and give up. God had a plan for them, to be salt and light to the dead and dark culture around them.
And he also tells them to seek the welfare (the “shalom”) of the city, because in its shalom (or “peace” or “prosperity”) you’ll have “shalom”. It’s the same with us. We must do what we can do, whatever that might be. The question for each of us – what can we do to seek the welfare of the city, all the while understanding that the ultimate shalom will only come when He returns to gather his people under his wings?
Friday, August 13, 2010
Bread and Circuses
In 140 B.C., during the days of the Roman Republic, the politicians of the day realized that of the many threats to power, one of the most unpredictable was the threat of the people. People are notoriously uncontrollable, especially if they are discontent.
They needed a means to control the great, unwashed masses, keeping them from revolting while at the same time assuring their support. Government-provided bread and circuses was an easy way to win their support. Give them cheap food and base entertainment and they would no longer need to worry about providing any meaningful public service.
The poet Juvanel in about 100 A.D. wrote this in his Satire X:
And if you really want to get the attention of your fellow Israelites, just jump off the pinnacle of the Temple. God will send his angels and hold you up. The people will be amazed and in awe. You’ll have their attention, and they will flock to watch the spectacle.
Bread and circus tricks. That’s the ticket to political control -- if you are looking for the easy way. It’s telling that the temptation ended with the devil’s offer to give Jesus control over all the world’s kingdoms. Imagine, Jesus, the good you can do. You can end all the world’s wars. You can feed all the poor people. And you can do this without having to go through the suffering that you will endure if you do it your way.
Jesus didn’t fall for the temptation because he knew that the temporary satisfaction of warm bread, or the temporary thrill of a circus ride, or the temporal powers that would end with his life are in no way to be compared to the eternal values that come from the narrow way.
There is more to life than bred and circuses.
They needed a means to control the great, unwashed masses, keeping them from revolting while at the same time assuring their support. Government-provided bread and circuses was an easy way to win their support. Give them cheap food and base entertainment and they would no longer need to worry about providing any meaningful public service.
The poet Juvanel in about 100 A.D. wrote this in his Satire X:
... … Already long ago, from when we sold our vote to no man, the People have abdicated our duties; for the People who once upon a time handed out military command, high civil office, legions — everything, now restrains itself and anxiously hopes for just two things: bread and circuses.Bread and circuses are the tantalizing palliative for difficult political dilemmas. If used as a means of control, they will work for a while, but will eventually lead to a degradation of the nation and the culture. The devil tempted Jesus with the very same prescription (Matthew 4). Are you hungry, Jesus? No problem. Just turn those stones into bread. That’s the easy way out. You don’t need to go through the suffering of fasting to achieve your aim. Just make a little miracle bread. Eat something. You’ll feel better.
And if you really want to get the attention of your fellow Israelites, just jump off the pinnacle of the Temple. God will send his angels and hold you up. The people will be amazed and in awe. You’ll have their attention, and they will flock to watch the spectacle.
Bread and circus tricks. That’s the ticket to political control -- if you are looking for the easy way. It’s telling that the temptation ended with the devil’s offer to give Jesus control over all the world’s kingdoms. Imagine, Jesus, the good you can do. You can end all the world’s wars. You can feed all the poor people. And you can do this without having to go through the suffering that you will endure if you do it your way.
Jesus didn’t fall for the temptation because he knew that the temporary satisfaction of warm bread, or the temporary thrill of a circus ride, or the temporal powers that would end with his life are in no way to be compared to the eternal values that come from the narrow way.
There is more to life than bred and circuses.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Reporters vs. Conservative Black Leaders at Press Conference 8 4 2010
"Race should never be an issue."
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