Simon Cowell Is Your Friend

“Who is not satisfied with himself will grow.” (Chinese Proverb)


Most reality shows could use more reality. That’s why, if I were competing on American Idol (don’t laugh!) my best friend would be Simon Cowell. He can be acerbic and biting, but one thing is certain: If he compliments a performance, you know it was earned.

A number of telling studies reveal that American students are falling behind their peers from other nations, while at the same time these same American students evaluate themselves higher than those from other nations. “In other words, they combined a lousy performance with a high sense of self-esteem,” says Nina H. Shokraii, author of “School Choice 2000: What’s Happening in the States”, in an essay called “The Self Esteem Fraud.” ( see Too Much Self Esteem Spoils Your Child)

I have to believe that public education’s emphasis the past several decades on self-esteem without regard to achievement cripples our kids’ and our nation’s future. Self-esteem without achievement is cheap self-esteem. It’s destructive instead of constructive. We do ourselves no favors when we refuse to hear unpleasant truths, and we do our children a grave disservice when we effectively lie to them about their strengths and weaknesses.

This isn’t new stuff. King Ahab, when his counterpart king from the Southern Kingdom asked if they could consult a prophet of the true God as opposed to Ahab’s sycophants, essentially said, “Yeah, there is a prophet of Yahweh here, but I hate the guy because he tells me things I don’t want to hear.” (Loosely paraphrased from I Kings 22).

Isaiah, quoting the people from his day, said, “This is a rebellious people, lying children, children who will not hear the law of the Lord; who say to the seers, ‘Do not see,’ and to the prophets, "Do not prophesy to us right things; Speak to us smooth things, prophesy deceits.’ ” (Isaiah 30:9-10 NKJV)

Simon & Garfunkle, a little closer to our day, wrote, “A man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest”.

Isn’t it at least a little wise to listen to your friends, people who care enough to every once in a while peal back a bit of your mask and honestly tell you what you need to hear and not what will make you feel good? We do each other no favors when we let our brothers and sisters – and children -- slide blithely into mediocrity or worse when a little wise and perhaps unpleasant honesty can change that person’s path to a more fulfilling and successful life in the long run.

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” (Proverbs 27:6) I’m sure Simon Cowell would agree.