Narcissism

Sandy Hotchkiss in her book Why Is It Always About You? lists what she calls the Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism. Wikipedia lists them as follows:

• Shamelessness - Shame is the feeling that lurks beneath all unhealthy narcissism, and the inability to process shame in healthy ways.

• Magical thinking - Narcissists see themselves as perfect using distortion and illusion known as magical thinking. They also use projection to dump shame onto others.

• Arrogance - If a narcissist is feeling deflated, s/he can reinflate him/herself by diminishing, debasing or degrading somebody else.

• Envy - If the narcissist's need to secure a sense of superiority meets an obstacle because of somebody else, s/he neutralizes it using contempt to minimize the other person's ability.

• Entitlement - Narcissists hold unreasonable expectations of particularly favorable treatment and automatic compliance because they consider themselves uniquely special. Any failure to comply will be considered an attack on their superiority and the perpetrator is considered to be an "awkward" or "difficult" person. Defiance of their will is a narcissistic injury that can trigger narcissistic rage.

• Exploitation - can take many forms but always involves the using of others without regards for their feelings or interests. Often the other is in a subservient position where resistance would be difficult or even impossible. Sometimes the subservience is not so much real as assumed.

• Bad Boundaries - narcissists do not recognize that they have boundaries and that others are separate and are not extensions of themselves. Others either exist to meet their needs or may as well not exist at all. Those who provide narcissistic supply to the narcissist will be treated as if they are part of the narcissist and be expected to live up to those expectations. In the mind of a narcissist, there is no boundary between self and other.

It’s that last bullet point, Bad Boundaries, that is particularly dangerous. Every despot, petty or great, is afflicted with it. They have the will to enslave, or perhaps better said to, to devour others’ self respect and personal identity. If you want to fight the devil, fight narcissism in yourself and when you see it on display in the public square.